Just before I started
writing this I was reading a few of your past e-mails and noticed something
about how your attitude has changed. Back on August 5th you were venting about
your last comp and said,
"Last week we did it
his way, next week we will do it my way."
Contrast that with
what you said last on September 23rd,
"I've never relied on Heavenly Father more than
now. I literally have no control over what happens. If I try to
make things happen it will be a bad day. I leave it to him 100% and
I have the best days. There is no other way than to trust in him in this
kind of work. When we tract I have no idea where I plan to go, we
just go and are led. I can't even stress how little this work has to
do with me. I have never mattered less."
I am so grateful for the lessons that Heavenly Father is
teaching you over there. And so proud of how open you are to learning them. He
is also teaching me the same lessons through you and your testimony. Being an
over achiever and perfectionist can get in the way of these lessons. I have to
get over my tendency to think that only I can do it right. And of course I do
pretty good but I also screw things up pretty often. I now know, but still
struggle with remembering it in the heat and pressure of work and everyday
life, that my skills and talents are gifts from God. That being humble, being
grateful for these blessings and trusting in Heavenly Father and
the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the only way.
Thank you for being so willing to share with us what you are
experiencing and learning. I have to wonder what a different person, husband
and dad I would have been if I had been a member in my youth and gone on a
mission. Oh well, I finally see the light now and am doing my best to be the
son, husband, dad, and holder of the Holy Priesthood that Father
wants me to be.
Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you about last weekend. Mom went to Spud
Day and I went to the Temple. After Temple I got a text from my Mom that set me
off. It doesn't matter what it was but needless to say I didn't handle it well
as usual and made it hard on my Mom. It bothered me so much that I started a
fast when I woke up Sunday morning and asked Father for help. Just before
sacrament, I was prompted that I should get a blessing for this from our home
teacher (the Bishop).
Mom and I met with Bishop after the block and talked for about 30
minutes about the struggles I have with my Mom. He had some great council for
me and then gave me a wonderful blessing that changed me. His council was
nothing that I hadn't already gone over in my own head many times; usually
after I calm down and realize what I butt I had been. The difference was, the
blessing softened my heart to her and, I think, allowed me to let go of control
and the desire to "FIX HER." Anyway, the blessing was what
I needed and things have been much better with my attitude toward her. I have
been able to just let the stuff that normally set me off flow through
and past me making the life of everyone here less stressful. I am so thankful
for the priesthood power that God grants to His faithful
and obedient sons like our HT & Bishop.
So, stay focused, obedient and keep up the hard work. Remain
humble and continue to be open to learning the lessons Father has planned for
you. You are becoming a great man for all to admire and love. You going on a
mission has blessed us beyond measure.
All my Love,
Dad
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Thanks
dad. I never even thought about those things that I said before. It’s amazing.
I forgot how those things change so drastically and you don't even
realize. Just one thing, you always look back and say what could
have been. I urge you to look forward and ask, “What will be? What will your
life be like in the future because these things have happened?” I was
thinking about it and if you would have been a member from your youth I
probably would not be here now. You know how stubborn I am and I believe if you
would have been a member you would have pushed me to do these things and I
would have pushed back. Yeah, you not being there and me have such a big choice
did lead me to do quite a bit that I shouldn't have. It’s because we were
converted when you where that I am here now though. I may have had the church
there my whole life but I became converted with you.
Love
you Dad. Have a good week.
Elder E.E. Buyers
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You know, you are
probably right. We are here and it is wonderful. And you probably wouldn't have
a wheeler, pickup or an arsenal. Ha. Ha.
You know, I never
really thought of you as being stubborn in the way I think you are describing.
Sure you didn't always listen to me, a good thing in some cases, but I never
thought of it as rebellious or stubborn. I always thought you thought I didn't
know what I was talking about. "That is you Dad, not me," kind of
thing. Since your way wasn't that bad and you didn't get in trouble, I just let
it go so, hopefully, you could learn for yourself - sometimes the best way to
learn. Spending and satisfying your temporal needs is my biggest concern. Of
course the weight thing is always there too. It has been such a burden and
impact on my life I just can't help worrying about it for you and Kelly.
Exercise is the only way that I know of to keep it off. Of course none of us
like exercise. We are mental people, not physical.
Dad
****************************************************************************
Well I don't know that stubborn is the right word but your right. I
had to find out for myself. But either way I know I wouldn't have been here if
I wouldn't have had the experiences I did with you.
Elder E. E. Buyers
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